one word: firstdatebathroomanal
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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