SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
