the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
