ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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