Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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