is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
