well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
