she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
