I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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