Whats the glycemic index on semen?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
