3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I wanna bring you to show and tell
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Actions speak louder than pants.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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