I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize