Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
