Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
