Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I can't turn off my feet"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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