Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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