I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
