I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
