Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
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I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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