So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Randomize
