we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Boobs are out for the taking
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
