Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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