they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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