My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Blood and glitter go together right?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
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