he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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