There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
