flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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