Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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