flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
