Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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