Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
