If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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