yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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