I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
