i jhust puked up my retainher.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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