why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
