grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
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