My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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