help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
