i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Randomize
