Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
