Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
