too bad you live with your parents still
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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