apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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