I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
