You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
