i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize