I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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