shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
