He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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