Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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