I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
