Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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