He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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