I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
