is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
