i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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