this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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