Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
