i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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