Buhtt sex?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
did i just pee glitter
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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