I didn't shave. On purpose
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
