we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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