hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
