Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
