You smell like stripper and shame
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize