His pubic hair was longer than his dick
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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