Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
