awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
