Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
