if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
