She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
