38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
