my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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