He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Randomize
