Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
