I can't breathe out the right side of my face
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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