Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
